Answered Prayers

So, I have been meaning to start writing this blog for a while. It’s not that I lacked content or anything, it’s just logistics. I’m trying to buy a laptop.

I have spent the last 3-4 years of my life praying for one and waiting and hoping…literally, that one day I’m going to answer the door and it’s going to be some friendly guy with a borderline creepy cheerful smile, you know, like the delivery guys in old movies, holding out a box with a state of the art laptop in it. The story would be that I won it, or some billionaire somewhere was feeling generous.

I should be embarrassed. But honestly, I’m beyond that level at this point.

Maybe you can imagine my consternation when I realize that God doesn’t work like that. I use the word “consternation” because I honestly, and I really should have known this, had an epiphany. It hit me like a lightning bolt that had me slapping my forehead in the middle of the street one afternoon on my way to school. It’s not like he gave me no indication what I should have been going towards this end. My sisters prayed for their own too, but they went out and went after what they wanted. And they got what they were praying for in various ways.

This is the part where I’m going to stop talking. I usually feel this in waves. The horror of the time lost. Lost because I just didn’t understand it sooner. It’s depressing.

So now, I still don’t have it yet, but I am very close, and I have been having quite a time of realizing how many other things, not just this laptop thing, I could have just gotten off my ass and gotten. This habit of sitting on my haunches and literally waiting for things to fall out of the sky to me needs to go. But knowing me, that’s easier said than done.